The Words Beneath My Fingertips

Please allow me to vent for a page or 2.  It's past 3 am and I've been wide awake ALL night. I'm in SO much pain, and I can't seem to keep it under control. Pain meds seem to only knock me out (or make me extremely drowsy) during the DAY but at night, I'm not tired at ALL. I wish my body would just work! I can't believe I'm so wired now when I was dozing off at dinner. It was an important dinner too...John surprised me with reservations at a nice restaurant since it was our 11 year anniversary of our first date! I didn't want to be sleepy then. I wanted to be sleepy FIVE HOURS AGO. When going to bed, despite taking a pain med, and despite being tired, as soon as I put my head on the pillow, my exhaustion disappeared!!!!! The pain just keeps me up and even though the medication helps for a short period of time, I'll either itch, or I'll start thinking about work. I try to do relaxation exercises but they keep me awake! Becasue