The Words Beneath My Fingertips

Life has been so good without that damn tumor in my lower left abdomen! My quality of life has definitely improved by 1000000%. Of course I still have residual sensory nerve damage. But it's bearable. And it's getting better. Well, it's better when i take my 2400 mg of gabapentin a day- I definitely feel a difference when i don't take the medication! :X Anyway, if you remember my past blogs, all you saw was F this and F that. I have found that since I am no longer in excruciating pain anymore, I have no need to use those words, so being pain free really does make a difference, haha! I can't say I am TOTALLY pain free though. Pain still permeates my lower pelvic area. It's the same pain. And when I have the pain, it's terrible (though not as terrible as the other tumor was), and when the pain is NOT there, I think to myself ,"what am I worried about?" I hate how much of a difference the pain makes in my way of thinking, I mean, when it's happe...

You know, having NF is really isolating. Other than my mom and brother, I have nobody to really share this with. Of course, you guys (my friends) are amazing at supporting me, helping me feel better when i am in pain, but I'd really like to talk to more people who have this disorder. I have joined many FB groups, and I am hoping when I am not so busy with classes that I can meet up with some people. I recently joined a blog that a high school pal introduced me to. Her friend has NF2 and is working on a literary magazine promoting the cure for NF. She does tons of races (she's pretty amazing) for NF fundraising. My best friend ran in honor of me in the NF Cupid Undie Run  - I wish I could do it! Maybe I'll start running. Who knows. Anyway, I want to know what makes YOU feel isolated?

So it has been a month since I last posted. Last month I was beyond miserable. Everything hurt. I couldn't really eat. I always wanted to vomit. I had to walk with a cane. I'm so much better now! The only residual affect of my surgery is "sensory nerve pain" as my DB (douchebag) surgeon called it. When i saw him Sept 8. he hardly looked at me and did not even look at my incision area.The appointment was less than 10 minutes. The only good thing out of that appointment was him agreeing to write a letter on my behalf to disability services in case I need more time on my assignments during this recovery period. I didn't know how long the muscle pain and nausea, etc would last. THANKFULLY I haven't needed it, but I was glad to have a plan in case I DID feel terrible. I can ask for an extension through the end of October, but i won't be using it. In fact, when we had to sign up for presentations for my field experience class, I signed up for the first day ...